MAGnificent

Newcastle United Football Club has delivered a season packed with everything the footballing world loves:

Goals, underdog victories, charisma, star players, team spirit, controversy, surprises and becoming somewhat a likeable club to neutral football fans.

As a NUFC supporter, I would prefer the club to be successful and disliked rather than unsuccessful and liked, however the 2011/12 campaign churned out an acceptable compromise for the Toon Army faithful.

With only Manchester City, Manchester United, Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur resting on us in the league table, great pleasure can be taken and the team can be proud to have finished above Chelsea, Everton, Liverpool and notably S*nd*rl*nd.

Predatory Senegalese pair Demba Ba and Papiss Cisse have been the talk of the town and further afield for the right reasons after scoring 29 Premier League goals between them. What joy it’s been to see true goal getters once again spearheading the attack.

Fabricio Coloccini, Yohan Cabaye, Tim Krul, Cheick Tiote and Jonas Gutierrez have had season-long performances worthy of a standing ovation, whereas the return of Hatem Ben Arfa served up the ‘get off your seat’ factor for fans throughout the second-half of the season.

The transfer triangle team of Manager Alan Pardew, Chief Scout Graham Carr and the cash of owner Mike Ashley can be thanked for a big part of the team’s successes but in particular Pardew, who waded through the aftermath of the disappointment from Chris Hughton’s departure to win over all his doubters.

An articulate man with a vision.

AP can coach, motivate players, speak to the media and tell the truth – four things that are rarely combined within a club never mind one individual.

The club’s hierarchy has been better received over the last nine months despite the near criminal blip that saw the North East’s most popular church renamed as the Sports Direct Arena @ St. James’ Park.

Although this will never be forgiven, I can allow for some Ashley breathing space since learning the business model he has so far deployed for the good of the club.

Ploughing millions of hard earned pounds into the club clearing debts also clears the way for shoehorning his advertising venture (that said I’m disappointed that the club shop has been revamped and now mirrors that of the Sports Direct chain). 

From mixing in with the fans sporting his ‘Smith 14’ replica shirt in the Gallowgate End to sitting in the Corporate Area for games, Mr. Sports Direct has been forced to stay off-the-radar, a journey that led Cashley to frantically putting the club up for sale two years ago.

But in fairness to the plastic Geordie, he screened every potential buyer, their intentions and future plans for the club - a job that should have been processed by the Premier League was undertaken from within and for one reason or another Ashley felt it inappropriate to pass on the baton, something I have no problem with.

And no I haven’t been paid off by the man himself to write the above. If I had been, there’d be a hyperlink to his online shop here.

The biggest highlight of the season is a toss-up between the terror enforced on Manchester United in the 3-0 home win back in January or the witnessing of Mackem Slayer Shola Ameobi equalizing in the 92^nd minute to deny Sunderland a win behind enemy lines.

NUFC’s goal of the season is unanimously Papiss Cisse’s unexpected and unconventional half-volley that flew off the outside of his right boot from wide left at Stamford Bridge, an execution that left Petr Cech rooted to the spot as it swerved above him into the far top right-hand corner.

HBA’s two wonder goals scored after driving dribbles, creativity, trickery and a touch of magic would win any competition in normal circumstances but Cisse’s meteoric rise to the top was matched by his worldy strike.

So what for next term? Well we’re back in Europe albeit having to play Thursday then Sunday every week to be on Channel 5 and analysed by John Barnes but…

…as told by Pardew himself today, “This year, I’m sure we’ll say something like, 'We’re looking for a top-eight finish, hopefully attack one of the cups and have a great run in Europe.'"

The Battle Of Barton

Everyone knows the way but very few walk it… was the strapline attached to Joey Barton’s Twitter account last week.

It’s fitting that on the same day that everyone involved with Newcastle United Football Club could celebrate a successful season, ex-Magpie Barton had what would be the most shameful day in the life of every professional footballer other than he himself.

Although I have dedicated some page space to the unworthy Scouser in a blog that at this time of year should be 100% about NUFC, I must tell you I found it very difficult not to highlight this latest episode in his self-starring series of comedy gold.

To paint just a small picture of what happened on the closing day of the season, Mr. Barton took to a physical off-the-ball tussle with the equally loved Carlos Tevez in a fixture which would ultimately determine the league title for Manchester City and/or relegation for Queens Park Rangers.

This led to the QPR captain retaliating in typical fashion with the execution of a high elbow smash into the face of the Argentinean.

The MCFC man fell to the floor before referee Mike Dean went straight for his back pocket brandishing the shiniest of red cards for Barton, who then blew a head gasket by kneeing the disgruntled Sergio Aguero to the deck and pressing the self destruct button by trying to head butt Vincent Kompany on his drawn out exit from the field.

Brilliant scenes were to commence as the ever-reliable Mario Balotelli flew off the substitutes bench to confront his ‘Village Idiot’ title contender but muscle man Micah Richards continued his Joey frog march down the tunnel to prevent a sight for sore eyes.

The above led to @joey7barton publically attacking Alan Shearer following his nothing more than expected comments on Match of the Day which provoked a tweeted defence delivered by Gary Lineker who was later labeled by Barton as an ‘odious toad’.

Just to clarify AS9 has a Premier League winner’s medal, 260 PL goals and an OBE. Joey Barton has a Twitter account, dodgy hair cut and record of imprisonment.

End of chapter.

Footballers + Misbehaviour = ?

The opportunity to get-one-in on the Mackems could not be missed and who more reliable than Lee Cattermole to be the subject of a drunken misdemeanor.

S*nd*rl*nd midfielder Cattermole has, surprisingly, admitted a conditional caution for inflicting damage on not one, two, three or even four but five vehicles and wait for it - in Newcastle.

The Black Cats' inability to exceed or even dent Newcastle's success this term will have disappointed Mackem personnel.

However reprobate Cattermole decided to compensate for that failure by crossing the River Tyne and vandalising property with intent akin to his infamous two-footed tackles.

The 'best player in world' as once self-described, Nicklas Bendtner was also in on the act but later cleared of criminal damages after being arrested the morning after the 10pm street rage on Stockwell Street close to St. James' Park.

Witness reports of the incident which took place on 6 December 2012 stated that one man jumped on the bonnet of a Mini as well as several wing mirrors and door being defected.

It must be noted that 24 year-old Cattermole will reimburse all damage costs and so he should in the assurance of receiving a five-figure sum every week.

Clare Donaldson, from the Crown Prosecution Service, said: "By accepting the conditional caution at this stage, he has also accepted his guilt in relation to all five vehicles, something that may have taken significantly longer for us to prove in court."

So another Premier League footballer has built a villainous reputation via off-field antics but fortunately for Cattermole by accepting caution the Magistrates will not hear the case as initially scheduled.

This month also saw Ched Evans of Sheffield United be not so lucky after being convicted of rape and jailed to five years of imprisonment.

So it's the taste of two extremes this year for the ex-Manchester City starlet after bagging an impressive 34 goals for the promotion chasing Blades as well as being named in the nPower League One Team of the Year at The PFA Awards.

An event which took place at the Grosvenor House Hotel, London where I was in attendance to witness the mixed reaction as his name was announced.

More and more professional footballers will be made an example of and as Evans has found out, in such a case - phone calls, promises and favours don't stand up when facing the law of the land.

It's players like this who bring a bad name to football and it's union members whom I am included, who are affected as a by-product..

Footballers only have to do two things: play football and behave themselves.

The Magpies travel to the DW Stadium today in a bid to take home three points from Cattermole's former club and relegation dog-fighters Wigan Athletic.

European Eureka

The answer to my last blog has proved to be 'Second Wind' and I say that with as much pleasure as expectation.

Having done my utmost best to not raise expectations beyond those from the start of the season, Alan Pardew and his underrated squad have left myself and the rest of the Toon Army faithful with no option other than to expect a top 5 finish.

With ability sparsely present in the Newcastle United roster, I anticipated end-of-the-season injuries to be the downfall of the team's respectable league position.

However where there is ability, it is in abundance and where there isn't, there is determination and endeavor - a formula that Pardew has compounded to sustain the hope, dream and possibility of St. James' Park staging  European football next season in the Europa League or dare I say it, the Champions League.

A mention has to lend itself to Hatem Ben Arfa who has been the marquee player and difference maker in securing 3 points as opposed to just 1 or even 0 in the team's current five game win streak. It appears that the Frenchman's bit-part role has now retired whatever the reasons, be it a maturity boost from HBA's part or a man management masterstroke from the Gaffer.

There has been premature likenings to Leo Messi and these come at no surprise in the current climate which frequently sees the term 'Legend' labelled to anything positive that lasts for more than five minutes. HBA is however inundated with attributes of skill and has the 'get off your seat' factor when he receives the ball so as a supporter I'm pleased to see this development.

After digesting comments regarding the current Senegalese front pairing that spearheads the NUFC attack, I would like verify that Demba Ba is still every bit the same player he was before his fellow countryman arrived. I say this because there has been questions marks instigated over Ba's form because the goals have recently belonged to Papiss Cisse and not the club's pre-Christmas goal machine.

As a frontman myself, I can identify, analyse and appreciate the balance that Ba brings to the starting XI, his link-up play and on-the-ball contributions cannot be faltered and while his positional role has changed only slightly his peformances should not be overlooked, especially when a shortage of team goals could not be further away!

Looking ahead, this weekend will see no NUFC fixture take place giving the Magpies the opportunity to reenergise for the upcoming WWE match with Stoke City on 21 April. I will be there to witness the wrestling match between the two sides and I expect it won't be a pretty contest given the Potters' philosophy of how to play football.

That said, I'm confident that the long ball signature move of Tony Pulis' wrestlers will give the Toon Army no problems and that NUFC will move just one game away from equalling the club's current record of 7 consecutive Premier League wins which has stood since 1994.

Second Wind? or Gone With The Wind?

After salvaging a late draw at home to S*nd*rl*nd and falling to defeat away to Arsenal, the season is Newcastle United's to throw away now.

Promising results have been consistent yet surprising for the Magpies this term and the current league position reflects that rate of performance.

However with the likes of Liverpool, S*nd*rl*nd, Everton and Fulham all sitting just below in the standings and finding more momentum in picking up points than the Geordies, I for one am beginning to worry.

A sexy sixth spot could very easily transform into a tenth or even bottom half finish if heads drop and a 4-5-1 timewasting and defensive show is continued to be put on between now and mid-May.

It appears that things are turning stale in Alan Pardew's camp and there was little entertainment for a Newcastle fan watching the dour gamplan enforced by the Toon Army and I was falling into the belief that the black stripes were actually red and it was Stoke City playing and not the exuberant team I've watched all season.

The Gunners' 21 shots to the Magpies sparse 5 tell the obvious story and as a result kept an in-form and fired up Tim Krul busy. Unfortunately because of that, I cannot sit here full of excitement and will be antipaticing a very nervous finale to the campaign.

Howay the lads!

For The 147th Time...

147 the highest break in snooker, Alfa Romero 147 successfully manufactured since 2000 and 147 the number of contests taken place between Newcastle United and Sunderland.

Today's 12 o'clock kick-off features two clubs who are subsequently succeeding from the poor form and inconsistencies of other teams in the Premier League this term.

The grapevine tells that Toon striker Papiss Cisse is set to play after a week of relaxed training in aid of his recovery from a strained hamstring. He should hopefully be partnered with top scorer and international teammate Demba Ba in leading the striking line.

Three from last week's midfield bank of four should retain their spots in Cheik Tiote, Yohan Cabaye, Jonas Gutierrez with either Danny Guthrie, Gabriel Obertan or Hatem Ben Arfa replacing Ryan Taylor if he hasn't managed shake off his injury woes.

Alan Pardew's side was defensively poor last week but I expect the back line will remain the same and hopefully the Wolves match will prove to be nothing more than an anomaly.

Can we expect a repeat of this fixture from last season - a phenomenal 5-1 win?

I am not interested in head-to-head statistics dating back to 1992 nor am I intrigued by novelty facts because the 22 players on the SJP turf today will more than likely never have shared a pitch before with the exact same faces and even if that was the case, there are too many variables to be swayed.

A player's age, form, manager, tactics, atmosphere, personal life, physical condition and state of mind all affect the outcome of a game and make it impossible to expect a result one way or the other - a debate for another time.

However, the Black Cats are a rejuvenated outfit since the appearance of well respected Martin O'Neill. On his arrival the Irishman managed to steer the Mackems away from a miserable campaign in just a handful of games but their last four encounters breakdown as WLWL.

I for one will be hoping that the Toon Army can find a way to decrypt the emerging pattern above.

Thrown To The Wolves

Yesterday's home tie against Woverhampton Wanderers has been playing over and over in my mind ever since the final whistle.

I cannot make sense of the events that took place during the game.

After 45 minutes of nothing less than total domination from the black and white striped shirts, half time arrived and Alan Pardew delivered his second briefing of the day to a team who were leading 2-0 courtesy of Papiss Cisse and Jonas Gutierrez.

From there on, the only explanation for what happened between the 45 and 75 minute mark is that the two teams swapped shirts (disregarding the possibility that Wolves gaffer Terry Connor's first ever half time team talk was miraculous).

Wanderers' winger Matt Jarvis cut inside from the left flank on 50 minutes before finessing a shot that took a dipping deflection off Toon right back Danny Simpson prior to planting in the back far corner of the net.

It is a pity that Simpson didn't have the bravery to open up his body and block the shot as Fabricio Coloccini or Steven Taylor would have because if he had, the ball would have ricocheted away from danger.

Newcastle's change in fortune cannot tagged as unlucky.

If there's one thing someone in professional football should know then it is to avoid making a substitution just before defending a set-piece.

Thus the fuel to my frustration after witnessing Pardew proceed with the intended double change after conceding a freekick 25 yards out. I still cannot believe that the tactical swap wasn't halted until the danger was neutralised.

I'm not disputing that the Magpies needed to rehash their strategy but Pardew takes all responsibility for the equalising goal which was crossed into the box and knocked down before being poked over the line by Wolves' Kevin Doyle.

It is evidence to all that the introduction of one or more substitutes can provoke an unorganised ethos amongst a set-piece defending team.

Danny Guthrie chasing shadows.

Unfortunately Danny Guthrie's entry to the field on the 65 minute mark saw him perform without the same energy or nature that has been seen in recent weeks and he made a range of wayward passes that became increasingly uncomfortable to watch.

It was positive to see the squad nearly back to full strength, the return of Cheik Tiote, Cisse on the scoresheet and Gutierrez lash in a thunderbolt.

Pardew has proven himself to be an intelligent man and this continued in the post-match interview when putting a clever spin onto the flavour of the questioning by plucking out a positive that was to add to the team's four match winning streak at home, albeit that started nine games ago!

Match of the Day football fans are made only aware of the highlights and passages of play that the BBC Director wishes to broadcast and unfortunately this can be misleading.

The match was not relayed to viewers accurately as to how the goals and game was thrown to the Wolves to feast on taking the bones of a point back to Molineaux with them.